11.16.2014

First Snow

We had our first snow this weekend and the boys loved it. They were enthusiastic about scooping so we'll ride that wave as long as possible. 

Pretty sure our 2 year old had never played in the snow. He was mesmerized and couldn't stop eating it. So fun to be part of this first for him with many more snowy winters to come as a Nebraska boy.


It was no easy task to get the boys inside but nap time had come so they warmed up by the fire before collapsing and taking great naps. Winter may not be as bad as I think. ((TRAPPED. Trapped inside with 3 crazy boys)). 

11.09.2014

Halloween

Halloween was such a blast this year. The Sunday before we carved pumpkins and had s'mores (the boys were shirtless since it was 75 degrees). Just a short few days later on Halloween it was freezing. Thanks, Nebraska. Cold or not my heart nearly exploded at the cuteness of my 3 superhero sons. Always grateful when we can build memories for the littles. This one was for the books. 



maaaaama

I heard that familiar voice yell "maaaaaama". It had an echo sound but I knew it's because K's head was pressed at the bottom of the door. My 2 year old rarely goes to bed right away since he's been in his big boy bed. (A move we weren't ready to make but the crib escaper required.) I drug my tired body out of bed. A sinus infection had claimed my energy but I knew the yells for me wouldn't stop until I got in there.

I opened the door slowly and felt 'K' move away from the door. He flashed a big smile and raised his hands. I picked him up and he melted in to me...his face tucked under my chin so close and his hands not quite reaching all the way around my neck. I sat down to rocked him until his body went heavy. I couldn't help but remember day one. 'K' is shy but his eyes those first days and weeks told a different story. He was confused and guarded. When bedtime rolled around that first day, I laid him sideways with a blankie to rock him and he climbed me like a tree. He wanted nothing to do with soothing. He wanted to be put in his crib and left alone. This went on for awhile. It was heartbreaking. Little by little the trust grew and he seemed soothed as we patted his back but...that was it...no further. No rocking, no swaying. Just the pats...keeping a good distance but letting us in a bit. 

Now, nearly 11 months later, it's hard to remember those days unless they drift back on nights like tonight. This little boy who was left in a crib most his life has learned he doesn't need to sooth himself but his mama can do that for him. God's redemption is so amazing. Happy I get witness it. Happy this boy has found a safe place in me. 

10.23.2014

court


I've spent many frustrating afternoons sitting on the hard bench at the courthouse rooting and praying and hoping my boys would finally get a voice. When we first took the boys as their permanency placement we were so grateful to not have to do the legal runaround. We soon learned there was a legal snafu and our dreams of adopting smoothly after 6 months in our home turned to tip toeing our way to 15 of 22 months. The countdown finally ended and the permanency hearing at 15th months was scheduled....then delayed. Scheduled again...then delayed. Each time my optimistic spirit was crushed and I wondered who would stand up for these children?

Weary and cynical I sat again on that bench last week. The judge finally changed the case goal to adoption. Praise God! He went on to suspend visitation as well. Most would assume visits would end when the State stops trying to reunify but, more often than not, they continue until termination which we are told is months away. The visits tear up the hearts of my boys. They come home and act out and there is always a couple days of rebalancing. I can only imaging the emotional damage that takes place. To have them done is hard to articulate. Peace washed over me. My boys are safe. They will forever know they are loved no matter what. The emotional ping pong is over. Now we can see true healing even though they've already come so far. 

Without a doubt they are worth fighting for. Worth going through hell for. Worth the efforts to help heal. Worth the stress they put us through. Worth it. I'm in so in love with my two youngest sons. Court didn't change that but it turned the corner. We can stop focusing on the frustrations of the case and start focusing on adoption. Permanency. Thank you, Lord. 


10.05.2014

Yes, sir!


Tae Kwon Do remains a passion for Declan. I thought he would only last a few months but he's loving it and working hard so we'll keep on taking him and are excited to see his talent blossom. 




Bros

Declan and "J" didn't have an instant bond. It took awhile for them to mesh but they are best bros now. It's so fun to see their relationship deepen. We laugh (and sometimes vent) about how they are both spirited children. How did this happen?! How did we get two very strong willed, crazy, outgoing, stubborn, spirited kids?? 
It makes for interesting dynamics. They are always trying to make each other laugh so sometimes our voices of authority are quickly dismissed. It's a work in progress for sure. 
Regardless, I see many beautiful adventures in the future with these two!
This is the "school day" glazed over look Declan gets in the evening...

Apple Picking

Martin's Hillside Orchard is a darling little place just 45 minutes away. We went last year with the twins and knew right away it would be a new tradition. We ate apples and yummy raspberries all week.
And just for kicks, last year....