Today, while shopping for office furniture, I found this old beat up adorable blue chair. Declan so nicely modeled for me. (Which means I had to bribe him with a snack, he would barely look at me and our "session" lasted less than 2 minutes).
This past Friday, we ventured about an hour away to our agency's main office and participated in an "Experienced Parenting" class that is the official first step in our home study for baby #2. The class was really enlightening. Honestly, we rarely think about Declan being adopted. He's just our son. DNA doesn't really come in to play. On Friday we had to think a lot deeper about things. The speaker talked about how to handle questions at certain ages as well as how to integrate Dec's adoption story in to his life as he gets older. At this point, we talk about being in his birthmom's tummy and how they picked us to be his mommy and daddy and that's the extent of it. We see both birthparents as well and that's so important, especially as he gets older and understands things.
We also talked about balance. How do we balance 2 open adoptions? This is something we hadn't even thought about. Right now, we see Dec's birth parents separately (they aren't together anymore) every 2-3 months. It works well and we love our time together. What will this picture look like with another set of birthparents (+ their parents?) to the mix? Sounds tricky to me. Our family unit is of most importance and the speakers encouraged us to set clear boundaries and do what feels manageable for us. What will this look like in the future? Total unknown.
Lastly, there were panels of adoptive parents that had multiple open adoptions. Their stories were encouraging, challenging, hilarious, and thought provoking. More than anything we learned that there is an extra layer of "stuff" to deal with in all age brackets when it comes to being an adopted child. At lunch we talked about continuing to shower Declan and our future children with love and offering them a secure environment. We want them to draw security from being a child of God. We want them to draw security from us as parents who have a strong marriage. We want them to draw security from the fact that they are so very lucky to have birthparents who love them and made a difficult and selfless decision.
We walked away with our minds rolling. Definitely in a good way. We are so excited about now moving forward. I've got be honest- we're not so excited about all the home visits, fingerprints, back ground checks, physicals, etc. Bleh. But those are steps towards our next child and that's what excites us.
My heart is so full thinking of Declan as a big brother. It's full with excitement over how this next child will come to be in our lives. And it's also overflowing with the blessing of having Declan in our lives right now. Our little family of 3. So happy.
The dentist told us to drop the paci immediately this week. Declan's teeth were moving. We were definitely not looking forward to this next step in life. We decorated a "paci box" and delivered them to a friend's son, Baby O, last night.
One last moment with his beloved paci. I will sort of miss the upside down Nuk.
"I have to give these away?!"
"Here you go, baby O"...
Then we were off to Target to pick out a big boy gift and shower him with praise! He picked out a mini train track set.
Update: Night 1: It was really tough to get him down last night. We took turns rocking him and soothing him for over 2 hours. He was asking for his paci a lot! We just reminded him that he gave them to Baby O and that he was a big boy now. Finally, around 11pm he fell asleep, slept all night BUT was up waaay earlier than normal just talking and crying. We tried to sooth him but he was up for the day. Hope it was a fluke. I can not get use to 6:45am. We just re-adjusted from his normal 9:30am wake up to his new 7:45am wake up. I'm dreading nap time but know that this will hopefully only last a few days. Hopefully. Praying. Wishing. :) All in all, glad the big first step is over. Off to make more coffee...
1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school? No I haven't! I still strap Declan in to the cart. We got a monkey backpack leash and I'm not humble enough to use it in public (though I believe they were created for kids like Decs...just like the crib tents were).
2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like...first first, not first with your spouse or current significant other!) My memory is not fabulous so I am going to talk about my first date with my husband. I was a senior in high school and we went to my school's "homecoming". I use that term loosely because I went to a Christian high school and we didn't have dances. Boo. But, this particular homecoming was out on an acreage. It was a pig roast. No, really, it was. Mark picked me up in his parent's Audi and I realized I must be really nervous because I was sweating soo bad. Like "am I man that just got off the basketball court?" bad. We pulled up at the event and Mark realized he had the heated seats on the entire time! And, it was super hot out too. The date was wonderful once my shirt dried out. ;) My friends loved him and it was history from there!
3. What's your "silly" fear? (We're not talking water and heights.) Honestly, vomiting. It's not that I don't like doing it, I totally and fully fear it. I hate this fear so much but let's just say my anxiety is less when the weather finally gets better (yay Spring) and we can get outside and breath fresh air!
4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with is as it comes, or run far far away? I don't mind confrontation. I think it's always better to work through things and communicate. Sometimes I come on too strong because I am confident and okay with confrontation. It's a constant learning process on how to better communicate.
5. Wood floors or carpet? Wood floors for sho! I love how they look and love how easy they are to clean. Two dogs and a toddler would trash carpet so I don't mind that we have all wood floors.
Check out more Five Question Fridays here.
Yes, I did seriously just post this picture at the risk of my son hating me when he's 16 and it resurfaces.
Yes, he does walk on his toes all the time and his calves are ridiculously muscular.
I really wanted to wait until Decs was 3 to start potty training. I heard/read it's much easier for boys when they are older. Despite my desires, Deckers continues to do things at HIS pace. We are [very] casually entering in to the world of PTing. We'll see when things "click". The sticker chart is bare, the toy bin is overflowing and the candy rewards have not yet been touched. Not for lack of effort, though. Declan sits on the potty many, many times a day. We read "Once Upon a Potty", make pee enticing noises, talk about going and go through all the motions. Still, #1 or #2 have not yet met the water. We'll keep at it and hope this doesn't stretch until he's 4.
Add to the list of denials:
-Declan plays Wii with Mark and actually gets the buttons and stuff.
Can I bottle up my toddler to savor a bit longer before he's a full fledged boy?!
Stay tuned for the "Adventures of Taking a Paci Cold Turkey" this weekend. Should be good times.
Today is a day I've been a little fearful about: Declan's first trip to the dentist. We could not have picked a better pediatric dentist or a more fabulous office. It is a full on train theme, complete with a train in the waiting room, trains on tracks on the ceiling and lots of fun themed things.
chewing on his prize
We made an appointment for 6 months for a cleaning and the dentist said "you'll get to come back by yourself since you'll be THREE". Whaaa? 3? Don't skip this mama's heart.