As a mom, my expectations of things have gone in to overdrive. I started thinking about this issue more when my nephew refused to eat his cake at his 1st birthday party this weekend. I just expect Declan to inhale his birthday cake and rub the frosting all through his hair and look up at me with a toothy grin. The truth is that reality can be so different. Why is it that I (and most women) put so much pressure on ourselves?
Another example? Mark and I swore to be uber social and just bring our son along to our events. We love sports games, dinners out, etc. Our realization? Social outings are based the proper balance of a not-sick, well napped, full tummy Declan. It's not a quick process leaving the house either. I need a diaper bag stocked with toys, puffs, diapers, A & D, tylenol, teething tabs, a change of clothes, sippy cup, baseball cap, etc. We still try to get out as family as often as possible but sometimes a PBJ sounds better than trying to inhale Chi.potle while handing my busy 8 month old puffs at a fast pace so he doesn't try to rip everything off the table.
The other I'm-a-big-fat-failure issue is my home. Before Declan joined our world, I worked a ton of hours and still kept everything in balance...pretty clean house, bills paid, etc etc. Now, I'm home the majority of the day M-W-F and I feel like my bathroom should have caution tape on it, the dishes are constantly spilling out of the kitchen, the laundry is stacked high needing washed. I'm even contemplating trying to budget a housecleaner to come every other week or so and help with the deep cleaning. How is it that I can't keep on top of things? Well...the majority of the day I'm playing with or watching Mr. Active crawl around and pull himself up on everything. When he's napping I catch up on work stuff and try to do a few things around the house. It's just not as easy as I expected.
It's a good thing that expectations do often get met. I expected to adore my child but I never could have imagined the amount of love I have for him. I expected to enjoy motherhood and I very much do. Everything in life is more full filling- family events, church, even errands. I expected my life to do a 360- it certainly did. ;)
It's also a good thing that reality inserts itself when our expectations are not met. In those moments when disappointment sets in, I try to remind myself that there are a lot of things not in our control that we just have let go. My husband is fabulous at this. He's chill about life and all that comes our way 99.9% of the time. We're a perfect combination because I freak out often and he talks me down.
I'm trying to learn to roll more with the punches. If my sink is full of dirty dishes- life will go on. If I feel like there isn't another moment I can juggle my roles as mom, wife, employee...I try to remember tomorrow is a new day.
Speaking of new days, I'm thankful God designed it just the way He did. If the crap factor of a day is a 10, you get to lay your head down...the sun sets....and a new day arrives. Ah, fresh starts- they're necessary for my sanity.