4.23.2015

Impossible


At times the words and pictures flow capturing our crazy life.
Other times I come to this blank screen night after night and my mind won't fathom how these sweet faces that call me mommy can't be shown. 
How can I share about the day to day without saying my kids names and showing their faces?
Last night I was broken.
Tonight I'm pissed.
Infuriated at a system that would allow children to be out of their home 2 years and still be so far from permanency. How is it that so many people are working hard to protect these boys from any more heartache but all we get is devastating news after each hearing?
I'm starting to get irritated that this is our life. There is a stirring in me. Something that won't rest peacefully in the beauty of our precious family. 
Limbo.
Who will stand up for these kids when those appointed to will not? Our hands are tied, our words not heard. 
I'm starting to get mad at normal families. Families that seemingly have it easy. I'm getting to the point I don't want to really spend much time with my "normal" friends...I mean...how the hell can we relate? No one is armpit deep in the legal disaster we live day to day not knowing what will happen to our kids. 
Please Lord, be near.