We're getting traction...

Mark and I finally met our caseworker this morning. I've been speaking to her for months on and off over the phone. We had a great 2 hour meeting that included some further counseling about adoption. One thing that stood out to me is that adoption is based on LOSS. Our loss of a conceiving a child, the birthmother's loss of a child and the child's loss of his or her birthmother. I really don't feel a huge loss of my fertility and I'm wondering if I should. Mark and I did close the door on conceiving for now but we don't feel like it's a dead dream all together. I'm only 26 years old and there is no reason we shouldn't be able to try again (with medical intervention I'm sure) in the future. Hopefully I'll be more educated on this subject after I read "Adoption After Infertility" which I just started.

The only really overwhelming thing about this morning was that she had both of us fill out a form regarding our future child. We had to fill this out separately which was hard because there were several things I wanted to talk to Mark about before answering. Some of the things addressed are what we'd be open to in regards to: different races, birthparents with mental illnesses, a history of drug and alcohol use or abuse, etc. We have a lot of research and soul searching to do before we fill out the form again to be placed in our file and used by the caseworkers to pull profiles for birth parents.

We'll have a busy couple of weeks with fingerprints, background checks, physicals, more paperwork and questionnaires to fill out, etc. We meet with our caseworker separately in two weeks.

The ball is rolling!!! :)

Here's a cute picture of my Sophie girl that brings a smile to my face:


Tracey said...

Good luck on all the paperwork. Do the fingerprints right away...it can take 4-6 weeks to come back. God Bless.

km said...

Aren't those dog-children such awesome gifts from God? They make me smile too.

Melba said...

That's interesting to me that they had you do the checklist thing separately. We were able to do ours at home together, which I'm happy about since that meant we were able to discuss all the different questions before making a decision. It's funny to me that each agency is mostly the same, but they all do things somewhat differently. I found that "acceptability checklist" (as our agency calls it) to be very upsetting actually. For me it's been one of the hardest parts of our adoption process so far.

As for the loss part of adoption, I've just been reading more about that in "The Spirit of Open Adoption" and I've been thinking a lot about this too lately. I guess the whole thing makes me somewhat sad...but at the same time...there are positive and happy aspects of adoption too. I think the bottom line is that all adoption needs to be child centered, and as long as that stays at the forefront, we should all be OK.

Anyway...sorry for such a long reply, but your post got me thinking.

GOOD LUCK to you...I can't wait to hear more {good} news!


~S said...

Hi! I saw your myspace link on your blog - I tried to send a friend request to add you - however since I don't know your last name or email address I could not. Here's my myspace page address if you'd like to add: http://www.myspace.com/shauna_wagner

by the way, your sophie girl looks like such a nice doggie - she looks like a good dog friend.

have a good day

Amber said...

So I am bummed because we just got our *negative* pregnancy results last week from our RE office in Omaha. Our surrogate is willing to try again, but it is so sad, frustraiting, etc. when it didn't work after all the money, time, praying, put into it. I am just searching some of my favorite blogs trying to find some words to cheer me up from those that have been there!

Becky said...

So true about all the loss involved with adoption....but, there can be so much for everyone to gain as well.
Glad things are moving along for you guys! And, Happy Anniversary! We just had 16 ourselves!