It's been an interesting month. I've been eluding to some craziness in our nest. I've finally be able to exhale and gather my thoughts.
My husband's company closes their doors tomorrow.
As the shock wore off I began to get sad. I'm sad for Mark and sad for the wonderful people he works with. His company is in the medical field and there weren't any indications of trouble on the horizon so the closing came as quite the blind side.
Fortunately my husband is the coolest cucumber you've ever met. Nothing rattles him. I freak out enough for the both of us. As a million things ran through my head (self paying insurance, draining our savings, months and months of unemployment) Mark stayed pretty positive that it would all work out.
Now I come to the title of this post. Faith. In complete transparency, there were days I had great faith. I knew we were blessed. We most definitely would be fine. But, honestly, there were days my twisted faithless mind would have us renting a shack and selling all our belongings to keep food on the table.
This faith struggle is something I need to work on. Why? Because, no matter what, God always provides. He doesn't necessarily provide in the way WE think. Every mountain and valley can not go perfectly to plan. I can tell you this, for a type A planner, I need to continue to learn to loosen my grip.
As Mark's current chapter closes and a new one begins (he starts at a new company Wednesday) I am thankful for the journey. This journey- no matter what- is bathed in God's provision.
With that, I exhale.