For some reason I've hesitated to update our profile letter. We were active a year at the end of April (when we had our failed match) and we definitely have new things going on in our lives and Declan looks much different now. So why the hesitation? I've been wrestling with it. I like to make the excuse that it's expensive to print them all off (it is) and we are moving and will need to redo the "house" section (we will) but I think the truth is I sometimes feel we won't be picked. Ever. Now, I know we were picked---but really picked...like not just "a match" but a birth and a fulfilled to the end adoption plan. In the back of my mind I think that expectant mothers (and fathers) want to give the ultimate gift to that childless couple. We have a fabulous son. So, why pick us?!
The excuses ended tonight. The unsettled feeling, the insecurity and the doubts ended tonight. I tore apart our old letter and filled it with all the new neat things we have going on in our life (Decs is in preschool! We are building a house! I'm a runner now! etc....) I splashed the picture pages with our fun adventures and pics of our loving extended family. Declan is indeed 4, not almost 2 like the last set of pics. ;)
I have a new little flicker of excitement that someday an expectant parent will find our little family of 3 worthy of their child. Because you know when that day happens this brutal wait will all make sense.