We have few people in our lives that we can share the adoption journey woes with. My friends listen to my frustrations and give me the sympathetic look (I don't doubt it is genuine...not knocking them). But, I don't have hardly anyone I know that just "gets it".
These past 9 weeks we have gone through foster care training. I'm not going to sugar coat it....it's been very hard. The information you have to process, the realities of what these kids go through, the unknowns about the future. It sucks. I don't know if we are cut out for this. But, we've met some amazing people. One of those people is a friend I've known for awhile (I graduated with her little brother) but we haven't spent much time together in person. So thankful for these new friendships. Especially thankful that I can openly share things with her that she just gets. From tonight's FB exchange:
"The balance of having hope and guarding your heart is impossible. Let me know when you figure it out. This is the.hardest.ever. BUT, I
dream about how our little family (with whomever new members it will
have) will feel so "right" and make this whole process make sense. Gotta
dream, right?!"
No sympathetic nods, just similar dreams. Thank goodness.
5 comments:
Ashley,
I know COMPLETELY what you mean. I asked Ben the other day, "Do you think my barrenness will ever stop affecting me? Maybe when I'm 50?" His answer was "no". Even though I LOVE where God has taken our family and I cry tears of awe, nearly every day, when I look at my little blessings, the heartache and wait and lack of control never fully goes away...
I thought the process of domestic adoption was challenging and complicated and life changing. I thought our experiences would prepare us for the complexities of foster adoption. They didn't.
It's the hardest thing we've ever done...but the reward is SO great.
Please use me as a resource!! Send me a message if you want my cell phone number. I would love to talk through our experience with you and answer any questions/concerns you have.
I have a friend from high school that was a gem through our adoption of LJ. Her and her husband have adopted five kids from foster care - four of them being siblings! It was such an encouragement to talk to someone a few steps ahead on our path.
I'd love to talk. Any time.
Our experience with foster care adoption was actually pretty great. The training and home studies and all the terrible things you hear are definitely heart breaking. We were not foster parents...we just adopted. My son is the most wonderful kid and has adjusted so well. He's almost 14 and is so precious and sweet. It can be very scary and difficult...some of those kids have been through so much. But it doesn't always have to be terrible. I wish you the best of luck and many blessings!! I'll be glad to answer any questions too.
We just started the process again too....totally know how you feel! Love and Prayers....open to talk whenever you need an ear.
love you!
This is so exactly what we are going through right now...same as you said, same as Rebekah said. I watched the link on her blog today during nap time, and thank goodness Eli was asleep because I sobbed hysterically...with my hopes, my fears, my uncertainty, and the pain in this world. We did one private open adoption, for Eli. We love our open adoption, love his birth family, and while it was by no means easy, it feels known to us. Now as we contemplate this foster care journey, its scary. We are listing as foster/adopt and private adoption both with the same agency, so we don't really know what will happen. Just trying to leave as many doors open as possible for God!
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