Thursday we celebrated TEN years of marriage. As young, innocent 21 year olds we had no idea how this journey would play out. Fortunately, it's played out pretty incredibly. Times haven't been perfect (who's are?!) but we somehow scratch our way through to the other side time and again. Praise God because I love "us".

In honor of this big milestone, I want to share 10 of my [very non-expert] tips to a healthy marriage:

1. I truly believe the not-so-secret secret to marriage is to first build a very strong foundation of friendship. Sometimes it's all you have to fall on.
2. Remember that love comes very naturally at times and, at other times, you have to choose to love.  
3. Do the mundane together: run errands, grocery shop, etc.
4. Know who you are in Christ and who you are as a couple. Decide together what matters most and be ready to be challenged.
5. Be each other's soft place to fall. Family support is awesome. Best friends are the bomb. BUT...there should be no softer place to fall than your spouse.
6. If things hit the crapper (because they will), remind yourself that your marriage is worth the fight. Don't be too proud to ask for help.
7. Laugh together. It's easy to slip in to a business-like relationship with kids and work and crazy busyness. Don't forget to laugh together
8. Consciously seek out something that will stretch you. I'm so guilty of getting comfortable. I don't like change, I'm pretty darn controlling. Mark helps me push me out of my comfort zone and vice versa.
9. Find things you love to do together. Let's face it....as the years go by, you drift. Your interests drift and change. Take what you love (Husker.Football, dinner+movie, Vegas trips, time at the pool, working out) and do them together.  For us, there are times we are living parallel lives and are busy with our own stuff. I always get a little unsettled and distant with Mark. Then there are times we are doing things we are mutually interested in all the time. If you start to feel disconnected, pick out some of your favorite things you've done in the past and do them! 
10. Be humble. Locking horns is stupid. There is almost always fault on both sides of an argument. Sometimes you have to humble yourself and own your part even if you feel more wronged. Don't let petty crap drive wedges. Life's too short.

Thanking God for such a great man. Lucky girl. Here's to 10 more...


Hannah said...

I'm gonna chew on #5 & #10. They hit home.

happymomof2 said...

Happy 10th Anniversary, and many many more blessed and happy years together!!

BrandiH said...

Happy Anniversary! I think that's some great advice! Marriage certainly isn't a cake walk.

Rebecca said...

Great advice! Happy 10th to you two.