I heard that familiar voice yell "maaaaaama". It had an echo sound but I knew it's because K's head was pressed at the bottom of the door. My 2 year old rarely goes to bed right away since he's been in his big boy bed. (A move we weren't ready to make but the crib escaper required.) I drug my tired body out of bed. A sinus infection had claimed my energy but I knew the yells for me wouldn't stop until I got in there.

I opened the door slowly and felt 'K' move away from the door. He flashed a big smile and raised his hands. I picked him up and he melted in to me...his face tucked under my chin so close and his hands not quite reaching all the way around my neck. I sat down to rocked him until his body went heavy. I couldn't help but remember day one. 'K' is shy but his eyes those first days and weeks told a different story. He was confused and guarded. When bedtime rolled around that first day, I laid him sideways with a blankie to rock him and he climbed me like a tree. He wanted nothing to do with soothing. He wanted to be put in his crib and left alone. This went on for awhile. It was heartbreaking. Little by little the trust grew and he seemed soothed as we patted his back but...that was it...no further. No rocking, no swaying. Just the pats...keeping a good distance but letting us in a bit. 

Now, nearly 11 months later, it's hard to remember those days unless they drift back on nights like tonight. This little boy who was left in a crib most his life has learned he doesn't need to sooth himself but his mama can do that for him. God's redemption is so amazing. Happy I get witness it. Happy this boy has found a safe place in me. 

1 comment:

Stephanie and Casey said...

This is so beautiful! I need to remember that when I hear my adopted 2 year old saying my name 20,000 times a day, in a very whiney voice, that is because she feels safe with me. Thank you for reminding me of this!