What was I up to a year ago today? Answer: fertility hell. Long time readers, do you remember this post? I was a burnt out, trying-something-new-before-I-bail, somewhat excited pin cushion trying to get pregnant through injections. A year ago we were going to give it two more rounds of shots. Interestingly enough, I was ready to be done after only one round. I had one foot in the world of adoption and one foot in a reproduction endocrinologist office. It was a weird and exciting time in our lives.
When my last round of trying to get pregnant failed, I had one bad day. It was a Sunday. I cried at the thought of not seeing a baby toddle around with Mark's lips and my eyes. I cried at the idea of not feeling a baby kick inside my expanding belly. I cried at not being able to have my mom coach me through my labor. It was a dream that died.
That next day, I woke up with a renewed strength. I wanted to be a mother. How God brought that child to our lives was irrelevant. I wasted no time in contacting the agency and getting an application and the rest is history.
We have NEVER TURNED BACK. We were Declan's parents the minute his birthparents set his car seat down on our living room floor. We are bonded like any other family would be- our DNA or not. Our hearts swell when he smiles and laughs (we can make him laugh like no one else can). I melt inside when his eyes follow my every move and the sound of my voice. I love our secret language of words and phrases that make him grin. I love love LOVE watching Mark be his daddy. He's a natural and was from the beginning.
As we still pay off our fertility treatment bills, it's hard to forget that phase of our lives. I could not have even imagined in my wildest dreams that one year later from our last fertility treatment that I would have spent the entire day with my near 6 month old son. Mind blowing.
What I also haven't forgotten is all my friends that are still waiting for their babies. Adoption is SO HARD. The wait is excruciating. The cool thing is that it only takes 1 phone call to completely change a life. So, all my bloggy buddies waiting for their sweet babylove, hang in there.
February '08: Fertility appointment
February '09: Pediatrician appointment :)
I love my sweet muchkin. Go ahead...eat him up with a spoon.