8.04.2013

Not a coincidence...

This past Friday as I left the gym I received a call from our fos/adopt placement coordinator for a healthy newborn baby girl. In the 5 minutes that I had a few questions answered, another family said YES and as quickly as my heart swelled with excitement, it broke. Devastated and honestly completely unsure what just happened (is this a cut throat operation, here?!) I went home and moped in my room for awhile. Thankfully, after a conversation with a fellow fost/adopt mama, I had digested my feelings enough to head out with my boys and enjoy the evening. I know this is a roller coaster. It's been that from the get go.  Did I make us lose this little girl because I had a couple questions? No. God's timing is perfect.

This morning in church we sang "Blessed be the Name". I'm starting to see the pattern of this song making it's way in to the rotation when I feel like I'm knee deep in one of life's trials. It always smacks me in the face with truth.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

2 comments:

Meg said...

That song was and is still so important to me on our adoption journey also...its so hard to figure out all the timing, but He has it in his hands. I was so worried during our first adoption because the home study was taking so long. Other friends we knew at the agency were hearing about situations, babies, expectant moms. And we heard about our son the day before we finished our paperwork...God wasn't going to let holdups or grad school or finances step in the way of His plan. It will happen again for you guys too! We are also waiting for our second time now.

Rebekah said...

I wish the process could be easier. I wish it could be pain free. I wish we could have a clearer vision of the path.

But. At the end of the day it's the intimacy and sacrifice; desperation and unknowing that makes us cling to God with everything we have. And we're stronger for it.

God hears your cry, my friend. Decs will have the sibling you've all dreamed of...and it will be even better than you dreamed.

Hold on to the promise.

Rejoicing for what is to come,
Rebekah