2.06.2009

Adoptive Mommy Questionnaire

I hijacked this off of Tracey's blog:

1. HOW MANY MONTHS (days, weeks, YEARS...) from 1st paper signed to placement? We put in an application to our adoption agency for a first meeting the same week a friend asked if he could give our number to a gal he knew that was early in an un-planned pregnancy and considering adoption. Our total wait from putting in our application to holding our new son was 5 months. We were very lucky considering our agency says it can take nearly a year to be approved before being put in the waiting pool.

2. WAS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER EXCITED? I would said he was excited about "closing the door" on fertility treatments but nervous (and excited) about the future.

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS WHEN YOU GOT "THE" PHONE CALL? Well, it was a text from the birthmom we had been talking to for a few weeks. The text said that we were "chosen" by her and the birth dad and that the agency would be contacting us soon.

4. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOU FOUND OUT? Working in my home office.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 26

6. WHAT IS YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH-COUNTRY (and province or city)? Nebraska

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? I called Mark and then our parents. Then I called my sister-in-law in Seattle and she woke everyone up (her hubby, my other SIL and her hubby that were visiting). We all shared a good cry.

8. DID YOU REQUEST A BOY, GIRL, OR EITHER? Either!

9. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD AT REFERRAL? He was 7 days old when relinquishments were signed and he joined our family

10. WHEN AND HOW DID YOU SEE YOUR CHILD'S PICTURE FOR THE FIRST TIME? I went with our son's birth mom at one of her midwife appointments and I saw him on ultrasound. The tech was like "wow...look at that..." and I freaked!! She was talking about how he had tons of hair! ;)

11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT FOR YOUR CHILD? I went out and bought a Pottery Barn bumper (which I returned because I changed my vision for the nursery). I also bought these teeny weeny shoes at Target that he only wore a few times. I felt weird buying baby stuff.

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Oooo! I've been holding back posting about this and probably will in the future but I was really irritated that people were 98% "cautious" and only 2% excited. I was basically pregnant and hardly anyone talked to me like I was expecting a baby. It was mostly conversation about the birthparents going through with things or not. All I wanted to talk about was baby stuff, nursery, formula, etc. I could tell people were just uncomfortable in general talking about our "maybe baby". When we bought a crib and other big stuff, we got more "what if she changes her mind" comments then "oh, cute pattern", etc. It tore me up inside but I only usually vented to poor Mark. :( Oh, and I'm still a little bitter that I was robbed of my paper pregnancy if you can tell so, again, I'll post more later.

13. WHEN WERE YOU ABLE TO TRAVEL? No travel necessary...just a 10 minute drive to the hospital.

14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes!! It was fabulous. We did it when he was 5 weeks old.

15. HOW OLD WAS YOUR CHILD WHEN YOU SAW THEM IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME? He was about 2 minutes old.

16. DID YOU PACK ANYTHING SPECIAL JUST FOR YOUR BABY? No. We were shocked he was here so early and just grabbed a book (because we thought she might labor awhile...she labored 30 minutes).

17. WHAT SURPRISED YOU ABOUT YOUR TRAVEL EXPERIENCE THE MOST? N/A

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH YOUR PAPERWORK/PROCESS? Very much so. If you're a reader of this blog you know, but the birthparents needed more time so they took him home from the hospital instead of us. We waited 7 excruciating days before he joined our family. Though that week was the worst of our lives, we trusted that God had a plan for our future baby (even if he wasn't it).

19. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY OR PLACE YOU VISITED IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY?THE BEST? N/A

20. HOW MANY DAYS/WEEKS WERE YOU IN YOUR CHILD'S BIRTH COUNTRY? N/A

21. FAVORITE PLACE/THING TO EAT WHILE THERE? N/A

22. FAVORITE PLACE TO SHOP WHILE THERE? N/A

23. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU ON THE PLANE GOING/LEAVING? N/A

24. WHO MET YOU AT THE AIRPORT? N/A

25. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DID AFTER LEAVING THE AIRPORT? N/A

26. WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR ADOPTION DAY? We haven't had ours yet, but we'll celebrate his finalization day some time in April.

27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Declan Isaac

28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 5 months, 1 week and 5 days ;)

29. ARE YOU PLANNING TO GO BACK TO THEIR BIRTH COUNTRY SOMEDAY? N/A

30. HAVE YOU STARTED OR ALREADY MADE YOUR CHILD A LIFEBOOK? I've started his baby album but I also have a big box of stuff....his outfit he wore when he was dropped off at our home, the newspaper from the day he was born, a few sentimental things, etc.

Now it's your turn....if you're an adoptive mommy, tell us your story!

4 comments:

jess hustad said...

Go figure...I'm crying like a baby after reading your post. Celebrating again and again is so worth the tears!!

[ps: my adoption day is april 16th...lets shoot for that, k? :)]

Tracey said...

Thanks for sharing! God Bless!

Jess said...

Love it! just took it and did it on TPWH for Ava!

Your story is such a good one! :)

HappyAutisticMama said...

I'm sorry you didn't get your paper pregnancy:-( My family was more supportive, it sounds like, but they were still surprised and cautious about my starting the nursery. I just stayed gung-ho about it, and thank goodness, since we found out about our son two days before we brought him home. I do wish they could have been gung-ho with me more, but they were just so scared I'd get my heart broken again. They more than made up for it after we had a child in our arms, though! I guess it was real then.