9.28.2011

Yes, I know.

I've got to be real. The wait for baby #2 is tough. I'm such a planner and so you'd think that going through infertility and adoption would prepare me for tossing my plans way out the window. More than anything, I know God's plan is way bigger and more beautiful than mine. I can not imagine Declan not in our lives. Declan is the direct result of MY plans failing and God's plan for our future PREVAILING. So, it's been proven in the past. I've already gone through this. Trust, and God will blow my mind with blessing.

Yet, my heart still aches. There are babies and pregnancies everywhere. And it's not that I'm not thrilled for those who's families are expanding. It's just that I still fail to understand why it's so hard for us to expand. We are good people. We love the Lord, love each other, love our families. We're established and thriving in life. Then when I come back from my pity party the same thing in me arises: "yes, I know." I know there's a plan for me. For our future child. For our family of however many. I know God has it all figured out and I need to trust. I need to ground myself in the contentment of our current world: our happy family of 3. So blessed. Just need a knock on the head to remember it sometimes.

6 comments:

samsmom said...

oh my goodness. I am so there with you. like exactly right in the same spot.

Bri said...

Me, too. I was fully expecting this wait to be easy, and while it is NOTHING compared to last time, it still sucks. Also a planner by nature, I hate not having a clear plan for the future.

So, yeah, I get it.

BrandiH said...

Waiting is hard, but you are right, he's just waiting for that perfect child to bring to you.

And PS I think you have the most beautiful falmily!

emily said...

Its SOOO hard and yet I'm thrilled and so blessed with one just as you are, you can't help the longing for another child. I don't get it either...I think the same things. Its hard not having any answers or control for us planners. I know God has a bigger plan but that doesn't mean its easy right?

I'll be praying for you guys.

Anonymous said...

Still waiting for our FIRST one after 3+ years and 3 failed matches...

Jacki said...

I've lurked on this blog ever since I did a search for adoption blogs a few months ago, but this post made me come out and send a virtual hug your way! I know exactly, exactly how you feel. Excited for others who seem to expand their families easily (like my brother and sister-in-law, who get pregnant within a month or so of trying every time), but sad for yourself. <> And can I just say that your little boy is just the CUTEST!! Those pictures of him at the zoo melted my heart!