I've got to be real. The wait for baby #2 is tough. I'm such a planner and so you'd think that going through infertility and adoption would prepare me for tossing my plans way out the window. More than anything, I know God's plan is way bigger and more beautiful than mine. I can not imagine Declan not in our lives. Declan is the direct result of MY plans failing and God's plan for our future PREVAILING. So, it's been proven in the past. I've already gone through this. Trust, and God will blow my mind with blessing.
Yet, my heart still aches. There are babies and pregnancies everywhere. And it's not that I'm not thrilled for those who's families are expanding. It's just that I still fail to understand why it's so hard for us to expand. We are good people. We love the Lord, love each other, love our families. We're established and thriving in life. Then when I come back from my pity party the same thing in me arises: "yes, I know." I know there's a plan for me. For our future child. For our family of however many. I know God has it all figured out and I need to trust. I need to ground myself in the contentment of our current world: our happy family of 3. So blessed. Just need a knock on the head to remember it sometimes.