I feel like my heart has been stirring these last couple of weeks. We haven't had any action at our current agency. We are a stones throw away from 1 year of our profile being active. Our conversations about our next step are all over the place. We've been doing heavy research on international adoption. Is God showing us this door is to close and that door is to open? Honestly, we are super excited to adopt internationally but the waits are SO long. Some of the programs we are interested in aren't even taking new families right now.

We've spoken to some different domestic agencies and I can not believe the fees. Seriously...$20,000-$30,000+ to adopt?! Such a hard pill to swallow. Even more difficult is the fact that we would have to start over completely with our home study (a process that took a year). Yikes.

Right now, we do nothing. We wait. God has a perfect plan. I truly believe that deep in my soul. I believe satan loves taking hold of my heart by making me wonder why we can't get pregnant when everyone else around me is? Why do we have to wait to be matched and hope the match is successful? Why this difficult journey for us?! Life is SO not fair.

Then, after I throw my huge pity party, I remember Declan was WORTH THE WAIT. He was God's perfect plan for our life. The journey to him joining our family was uber turbulent but sometimes hard to remember. So when life feels unfair, I am humbled to know someone else is in charge here. I need to remember to move out of His way and let Him lead.


Beth said...

It is such a struggle.
We've only been officially waiting for 5 months and I feel like it's forever.
I am also shocked at many of the fees that agencies charge. Ours is resonable, but we have been contacted regarding situations that are anywhere from $25,000 - $40,000.

I hope that your baby finds you soon!

Simply Complex said...

Well said. My heart aches for your family having to wait for something you undoubtedly want so badly. I wish it were easier for you. The whole thing, or even just parts of it. Good luck.

Trish said...

You don't know me. Somehow I stumbled onto your blog a year or more ago, but I have to say that I have been drawn back to it in the last few months. I keep checking to see if you have good new to announce!
I've been praying for you and your family and specifically that Declan gets a younger sibling soon.
God does have an awesome plan for each of us and I pray that His plan for your family becomes apparent soon.