Can't a girl get some sleep around here??

Let me preface this post and say that I have had bad insomnia for years. Until Declan joined our world, I used a wonderful drug called Ambien to give me my 8 hours of fabulous sleep. (Disclaimer- don't start taking it...you'll be hooked...it's highly addictive). I quit cold turkey to put on my mommy hat and, frankly, I'm usually so exhausted I don't need it.  Well now that my wonderful son is pretty predictable (he eats around 10pm, around 2am and around 6am) I should be able to get more sleep. 

This is how it goes in our household these last couple of months: I feed Declan his 10pm feeding and then hang out on the computer or watching t.v. until about midnight. I usually get pretty tired around then. I go wake Mark up at 1am to start his "shift". He lets me sleep from 1am to 5am by myself in our room. That's the only sound sleep I get! Why you ask?? Because I can't sleep with the monitor on!! It's like a crazy mommy instinct that won't let me drift off in to deep sleep! My hubby doesn't understand at all. 

So now on the weekends we have this new plan: I feed Decs at 10pm and then go to bed (no shifts on these days). Mark then does the next feeding when Decs cries and then I do the next. Honestly, I don't get good sleep on this new plan. I do it because Mark likes the normality of us both going to bed in our room. 

Last night I was so excited for my beloved 4 hour shift of sleep in my room monitor-less while Mark rocked his shift out on the couch.  I was super sleepy and drifting off when a loud beeping started. I got Mark and he climbed on a dresser to take down the smoke detector that had a low battery. I go back to bed to try again to sleep. This is where my past insomniac ways hit me- I have huge trouble falling back asleep after waking up. So I start getting sleepy again and there it went again...that loud beeping!! What the freak is going on?? Mark came back in and realized it's the dang carbon monoxide detector. ARG. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep AND it was a work day. I zombied my way through the day and hope to get more zzzzzzs tonight.

Any tips on making this whole sleep thing work better? I'm at a loss. I'd like to exit "survival mode" and become a bit more normal. Ultimately I'd love Deckers to drop his 2am feeding and sleep through the night but whatev. If anyone in blog land has any good ideas, let me know!


Stefan, Sarah and Lukka said...

I really and truly think the only way to get a kid to sleep through the night is to let them cry it out. Otherwise, logically, they are being comforted when they want...so why would they stop when it becomes normal? If he is gaining weight and is in great health, try it out. It is really hard for a few days and then...BAM! Sleeping through the night! Lukka slept through the night sort of as a fluke because I require (underlined :) 8-9 hours of sleep a night, and getting 5 was almost the death of me. One day, I heard him around 3AM, opened my eyes, and literally couldn't get out of bed (even with the mommy instinct), I fell right back asleep for 2 more hours and (panicky upon waking) wen tto check up on him and he was sleeping like an angel. I let him cry it out and he got over it!
As far as insomnia goes, I have never had to deal with that extreme, but I find that if I am not exercising regularly AND eating healthy regularly I just generally feel like crap and it does affect my sleep.
PS-yay Dave Ramsey!

Rebekah Wilson said...

Just a voice from the other side. I never let my daughter cry it out. ONly because at the age that Dexter is, she still needed the 2 am feeding because she was hungry. She did start sleeping through the night after she could go longer in between feedings.

I agree, sleeping with the monitor on is not easy. Could you put it on the floor on hubby's side of the bed and he can let you konw if Dex gets up? Would you consider getting a bassinet or a pack n play for you bedroom so that Dex can sleep in your room so you don't need a monitor? Then after he is done needing his 2 am feeding, you can switch him back to his room? I know some moms don't want the baby in their room but I never minded having kaitlyn in our room until she was sleeping more through the night. If you aren't comfortable with him in yoru room, do you think you can sleep in his room for your shift?

Tracey said...

This will be a hard ajustment for me too...Richard falls asleep easily...not me...once I wake up it takes a long time to go back to sleep. God Bless!

ash said...

i agree with ms. wilson; don't cry it out. he's 2 months old and still eats in the night. theia wasn't sleeping through the night until she was 4 months, and even that was a short night; last feeding at 10, up at 4:30 or 5. but it did get longer. (and remember she's always been a big tank of a kid that ate a lot)

i have to have COMPLETE silence to sleep but i've already been working on that a while since darren snores like all those lumber jack snore jokes people tell. half the time i sleep with ear plugs (yeah, the injection molded fancy kind even) i did have theia in a bassinet in our room until she was 3ish months and just too stinking big for it. in or out of the room, monitor or not, it's just hard to sleep. where we are now we have these vents over the doors (who knows why) so there is NO sound barrier between the rooms really, so we don't even need a monitor in the girls' room which shares a wall with ours too. when theia cries we hear her pretty easily.

to be completely honest i've never really understood why you would wake mark up, is that just to send him to sleep on the couch where the monitor is? or is he actually awake the whole time? if he's just going to the couch to sleep, i agree that maybe you should try putting the monitor on the floor on mark's side and see how it goes. otherwise, get ear plugs. you know what "they" say, whenever possible sleep when your baby sleeps, i'd feed decs at 10 and go to bed, see if having the monitor on mark's side on the floor (or under his pillow, since it would be muffled for you, but come right through for him, even though it might not be the most comfortable) you've got plenty of time, try whatever.

on a final note, our older kids are always waking up in the night too, or their noises just wake us up. not every night, but often. when they're sick it might be tummy aches or just coughing all night, otherwise, it's bad dreams, potty breaks, "mom i think i ate a bug", "i've got a goobie in my nose", "i'm itchy" and sometimes they just don't know that it's NOT morning time yet! sorry hun, but i think some how you're going to have to train yourself to get used to sleeping through some noise.

Best of luck, i'm sorry if this wasn't actually helpful.


P.S.sometimes i still sleep with my ear plugs in, just because darren's so stinking loud, and if i sleep through theia and she cries loud enough, he wakes me up and i go take care of it. we don't believe in crying it out really, and with the close proximity, she's never going to cry herself to death.

Marcia said...

I have one word for you. FAN!
Put one in your room and his room and everyone sleeps all night long!

Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy????

Ashley said...

HA! Marcia...love your comment. Actually, we totally rock a fan in Declan's room already. Our house is super old and crickety so it neutralizes the sound a bit. I've read it helps with SIDS risk too.

Jilly333 said...

Both Kayla and Tyler were sleeping completely through the night about 3-4 months in. So, hopefully Declan won't be needing his 2am feeding much longer.

HOWEVER, Tyler now doesn't sleep through the night and I haven't figured out why he all of a sudden decided to switch it up.

FroehlichFive said...

Hate to tell you this but Cooper took a two am bottle til he was a year and I have NO regrets about NEVER letting him cry it out. Haydin then slept through the night from the get go. It would be different and I would tell you to let him cry if all he desired was to be rocked or held but if he is eating I vote for feed him. As far as getting you to sleep, get rid of that monitor. I can't sleep with it, I am up all night looking at the light to see if it is moving up. As long as he is somewhat close in rooms to you, you will hear him when he is finally awake enough to eat and you won't hear the little wimpers and moans. And give that husband of yours a big hug...it is harder to wake Steve up than it is to get up myself and feed the kids.

Tracey said...

I know he's adopted and all but he has daddy's smile...have you noticed that!!!

becklaw said...

i must say, selfishly, i was reading these comments in the hopes of finding out if there is any way to get past my own insomnia. I am right with you sister, and I don't have an almost 3 month old! It's so hard to get anything done on little to no sleep. I will pray for you, as this is the only thing I have to offer....hehe

Anonymous said...

We don't do "cry it out" with Evie at all, but she's sleeping 6-8 hours at night now due to The Miracle Blanket. Check it out, it rocks. She wakes up super hungry but makes up for it by eating more during the day and she's still gaining weight like a champ. :)