5.05.2013

adoption (lack of) progress

Ahhhhh. God has me way confused on this journey to kiddo #2. We had no idea we would have an almost 5 year old and no other kids. I always envisioned our family with kids closer in age. I've gone through really patient periods and really antsy periods. Right now I'm just in a "irritated" period. We had our three year renewal with our current agency. We were only shown a handful of times in 2012 (2 or was it 3?....our caseworker wasn't quite sure!!??!) Though birth mom decided to parent, we were matched a year ago April. So at our renewal appointment with our caseworker instilled zero hope in our family to grown through adoption with their agency. Totally frustrating. I'm sure she didn't mean to be a negative nelly but she was. It was salt in the wound that we were even renewing as we have recently be "not chosen" by another local agency.

We did finish up our foster care classes almost a month ago. They're overwhelmed so that's on a delay as well. Hurry up and wait. Our adoption mantra.

I'm...
frustrated, sad, discouraged, annoyed, jealous (lots of pregnancies around me), confused...

Other days I'm...
hopeful, excited, thankful for where we are, trusting...

So what's next? The research phase has begun about reaching beyond Lincoln to adopt somewhere else in the US. For us that means we sink our savings in to our next kiddo and that's frightening. Praying for clarity.


2 comments:

Tracey Brumlik said...

I'm with you girl...Sam is almost 5 too.....just a side note...the minute we became happy with our lives as is...and said this is the way God intended it to be and moved on and it wasn't even on our radar anymore...bingo....now we're adopting again....just a thought.

Rebekah said...

"Oh, my God, He will not delay,
My refuge and strength, always,
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through, always"
[Kristian Stanfill]

He will not delay, my friend. Stomp and scream it out to relieve the pressure, but stand firm in His love.

He won't let you down.